Hope is...a Nomination.

Posted by - Rohit

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." - Martin Luther King.
 Great men of solid character have always lived with hope. Hope is that weapon in your arsenal that would make you witness the Haley's comet in 2061, witness Paris Hilton's steady marriage, a Ramgopal Varma hit, a Mumta Kulkarni comeback and witness Mr. PM saying "Hey...sorry". You hope, you win. Similarly, let's not be too pessimistic about India not getting nominated for the Oscars. If people can hope for The Bold and the Beautiful to end why can't we be optimistic about a simple little nomination. All we have to do is get the right members on board.
There have been many discordant voices rising against the nomination of Barfi as the official entry from India. Everybody, apart from Anurag Basu and some of his friends think that the committee appointed by the Film Federation of India should start watching movies. This is what Anurag Basu had to say -

Basu - "I'm Proud of Barfi"
Anu Malik - "Yeah dude...I feel better now."
Pritam - "Anu...*High Five*"
Basu - "And no, my movie is not the biggest collage work ever. We will win the nomination. Hope is a waking dream."
Nolan - "And you guys are in a Limbo...hah!...So you need to hope more than once. Keep hoping and you will still be dreaming. ha ha ha".

Murgadoss - "Pakaa mat be...And yeah, Aamir had more tatoos than Guy Pearce. Hah!".

To be really frank, Barfi seemed to be a promising movie, only after watching the trailer. The movie had a simple plot, with unwanted convolutions and larger than life characters with Priyanka Chopra  looking like a younger version of Susan Boyle. It, according to me was a good attempt with some stunning cinematography, but one cannot deny the fact that even though the story seemed to be original, the chunks that made the story a good watch was not original and can't be merely said to be "referred". With our board members' complete non-chalance towards some of these so called "references", the movie is all set to draw some flak. With movies like Jeans, Paheli, Hey Ram, Sagar and Devdas being selected as India's official entry to the Oscars, it is quite evident why this wait, for that elusive Nomination, is spanning decades. Looking at this trend of the selection process these days, I have formed a mental pattern of what factors are taken into account by the Oscar Selection Committee to choose a nomination. Well, this process is not complicated at all and so...

1: Shah Rukh Khan:
The one ingredient that seems to be working for Film makers to get some attention from the selection committee is Shah Rukh Khan saab's outstretched arms.
Paheli :
The selection committee member 1(SCM 1): "Paheli has SRK. He plays the role of a Ghost. Moreover, Rani says - 'I see dead people' in the movie"
The selection committee member 2(SCM 2): "Man! Do we need to watch the movie?"
SCM 1: "Nominated".

Devdas :
SCM 1: "Dude, SRK again. He plays the role of a guy who loves to drink and have sex but complaints like a woman without a credit card."
SCM 2: "Whoa! Split personality! Do we need to watch this movie?"
SCM 1: "Nominated."

Hey Ram:
SCM 1: "SRK has a small role is this movie. What say?"
SCM 2: "What is the total screen space allotted to him?"
SCM 1: "73 seconds".
SCM 2: "Ahh...even 30 would have been good."
SCM 2: "What is the movie about though?"
SCM 1: "Some guy named Ram goes to...".
SCM 2: "Doesn't matter. Nominated."

2. Should have the right credentials: 
In other words, you need a strong resume or a famous family or a family member. For instance,

SCM 1: "Boss, Jeans. Produced by Ashok Amritraj. Former tennis Player, brother of Vijay Amritraj. Has played in the US open and Wimbledon. Man! Wimbledon!"
SCM 2: "What is the movie about?"
SCM 1: "Aahh...two lovers go on a World Tour. Yeah. That is it."
    : "So, what say? Nominate?"
SCM 2: "Wimble-done! ha ha ha!"

And when it comes to Barfi:

SCM 1: "Awwwww..."
SCM 2: "Awwwwww..."
SCM 1 and SCM 2: "Nominated".

Mother India, Salaam Bombay and Lagaan. Three movies have so far made the cut and out of which one of the movie was directed by a Nair (Yaay!).
So as our very own Hellen Keller says - "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope"... let's hope that The Bold and Beautiful ends. And as far as our nomination is concerned, let's hope for better board members for starters. Hope begins right after.

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  1. Gr8 post Rohit..was worth the wait :)

  2. Super .. good analysis :D You are truly gifted NAIR :-)

  3. Awwwwwwwwww! You're nominated for Blogscar! :D

  4. He He...
    Liked it...
    Most of the things are very much new to me....
    Keep it up

  5. Good post, Rohit..:) its the exact loophole in selection process that u pointed out by your very own humerous way!